Remember Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan?
I think that both fans and non-fans of Star Trek can mutually agree that this was an awesome movie. What other cinematic epic can boast of having spaceship duels, exotic planets, killer special effects, and Ricardo Montalban?
Anyway, if you saw it, you must surely remember how Khan and his buddies raised those horrible little sand worms that they stuck in those guys’ ears. In the words of the mighty Khan, they are described as such:

“You see, their young enter through the ears and wrap themselves around the cerebral cortex. This has the effect of rendering the victim extremely susceptible to suggestion. Later, as they grow, follows madness… and death.”

Why am I bringing this up, you ask?
Because I think that I may have one of those things in my ear.
My doctor says it’s a eustachian tube infection brought on by allergies, but I think it’s actually one of Khan’s pet worms.


Yeah, it’s not fun. There’s so much pressure in there that it feels like someone has jammed a golf ball inside my head. A few weeks ago, I had the same problem – although not quite as pronounced. My doctor prescribed me some nose spray, which he said “should clear the problem up in a few days”. As it turned out, the stuff was like a mixture of angel dust and horse tranquilizer. It rendered me absolutely wacked out for a couple of days, and made my allergies far worse than they had been. It was like a mean trick, possibly the diabolical work of you know who.

Anyway, I tried to make an appointment with a specialist today – but no luck there.

“The soonest the doctor will be able to see you is September 14th at 3:40 PM.”

Awesome… that’s only three weeks away. I’ll head right over and just sit in the waiting room.