Like most of us, my views on 1990s music are highly opinionated. To me, grunge was an annoyance that had to be endured for several years while a bunch of mediocre bands tried to be the next Nirvana or Pearl Jam. I was never a big Nirvana fan due to my prevailing musical tastes at the time, but it was hard to ignore their fresh and original sound. Nowadays, it’s easy to see their widespread influence and significance in rock history. Unfortunately, as genuinely cool as those guys were, they inadvertently blazed a trail for countless bands that were sheer talentless crap. After Nevermind’s massive overnight success, it seemed like every label scrambled to find and promote anything that could be labeled “alternative”.

At the time, Mudhoney seemed like another piece of corn in the diarrheic discharge of such bands from labels like Sub Pop and DGC that followed. In truth, they were actually the ones who had paved the way for Nirvana and other similar bands in the late 80s. In the pre-Nevermind age, they were a huge influence on other Seattle-area bands by way of the Superfuzz Bigmuff EP (1988) and single for Touch Me I’m Sick. These were indie favorites, earning them recognition by many as being the first true grunge band (lead “singer” Mark Arm is even credited for coming up with the term). They’re still around, and have a devoted following to this day. However, none of these things change the fact that they are simply an awful band.

I don’t normally call out and ‘diss’ groups in this manner, but these guys were responsible for creating what I consider the most offensively bad song of the 1990s: Suck You Dry, from their 1992 album Piece of Cake.

 

 
The video is mildly funny, parodying how the Seattle grunge scene had been forced into the mainstream and capitalized on. There’s a cameo by Krist Novoselic, Nirvana’s bassist. It’s still a terrible song.

I remember Paco and I joking back then about how incredibly annoying it was whenever we heard it on MTV or being blasted out of a friend’s vehicle. For a few weeks it seemed to be the official anthem of the burgeoning alternative/grunge scene, and was played often enough to make a permanent impression on me.

SUCK!
YEW DRAAHHHY, SUCK!
YEW DRAAHHHHYYYYY!!!

These lyrics and their unbelievably irritating delivery still give me a headache. I can’t fathom how sane people would voluntarily listen to this stuff, let alone buy it.

There are certainly other songs by other groups that are strong contenders for the worst song of that decade, but to me this one stands out as the clear winner of that title.