This last weekend my wife and I made our annual trip to Bend Oregon.  We try to go every year to the Bend Brewfest.  It’s always a great time, Bend is a very nice town and the weather this time of year is perfect.  My brother and his fiance always go too, and this year a couple of my cousins and their spouses made the drive as well, so we had a nice group up there.

My wife and I headed up Friday afternoon.  One of my cousins arrived Thursday, as did my brother, while my other cousin was going to be showing up late Friday night.   We rolled into Bend around 5:30, met up with my cousin (my brother was hanging out with his fiance’s family who lives up there) at the hotel, and decided it was time to go get some dinner.

I suggested a place that I wanted to check out.  My brother had raved about how they had awesome food, “one of the best burgers I’ve ever had.” were his exact words.  So I was eager to try it out.  Everyone agreed, so off we went.

After a short drive we arrived, a small line was waiting outside (always a good sign), we made our way in to the bar, grabbed some beers, and put our name on the waiting list.  After about 10 minutes we were seated.  I checked out the menu, and they had a bunch of different burgers, and they indeed sounded pretty tasty.  So my wife and I both pick out one to order with my cousin and her husband ordering something else.

After about a 15 minute wait our food arrived.  And the burgers looked great, and almost comically large.  There was a huge knife jammed through it, two beef patties, a ton of bacon, cheese, etc… it was a caloric artery clogging beast!  I was hungry, so I quickly dug right in.

About 20 minutes later, I put the remaining 1/3 of the burger back on the plate and admitted defeat.  I thought it was a noble effort, to consume this whole thing in one seating would have been quite the accomplishment.  And while the burger was good, I didn’t feel that it lived up to the lofty expectations that my brother had set for it.

When dinner was over, we made our way to the outdoor amphitheater where the brewfest was held.  We went through the line to get in, got our drink tokens, brewfest mug, and headed for the first brewery tent.

A few sips into the first taster of beer I started to feel a bit odd.  I wasn’t enjoying the beer, as it didn’t seem to be sitting well with me, so I dumped it out and looked for something different to try.  The second beer was a bit better, but still my gut was trying to tell me something.  I excused myself from the group, and went in search of the Porta-Johns.  Once I found them, I just stood there in an uncomfortable state.  I didn’t really need to use the restroom at the moment, but it felt like I might need to soon.  I stood there for a few minutes until I realized nothing was going to happen, so I went back to the group.

We hung around for a bit after that, I tried one more taster of beer, and thought maybe I was going to be OK.  Not too much later my wife expressed her desire to go back to the hotel.  It was getting kind of late, plus with me feeling a bit funky, and kind of tired from the long drive up I agreed.

Back at the hotel, I put my wife to bed, then headed to my cousins room to hang out for a little bit before I was ready to sleep.  After about 15 minutes I felt a weird rumble in my stomach again, I went into their bathroom, but nothing much happened.  Strange I thought… I don’t feel terrible, but something just isn’t right here.

A couple of minutes later it hit me, it felt like everything in my stomach was boiling, and fighting it’s way towards my throat.

I gotta go use the restroom!

And I bolted out of their room towards mine, I wasn’t sure if I was going to make it, but I didn’t want to huck burger chunks all of over their bathroom.  When I made it to our door, I felt the bile hit my throat, my gag reflect kicked in, and next think I knew, my mouth was full of sick.  I darted into the room, my wife rolled over and looked at me with a concerned look on her face.

Are you OK!?

As I hit the bathroom door, I thought I was going to make it, but at the moment I opened it, another round of chuke bubbled up into my already full mouth, I couldn’t hold it back any longer.

BLLLLLEEEEETCHHHKKKK!!!

I was close, but a good part of the pink puke and hamburger chunks hit the floor instead of the toilet.  A couple of gags later, and it was done.

Relief started to come over me, I suddenly felt quite a bit better.  Ahhhh…

My wife asked again if I was OK, I said something to the effect of, “I do now”.  I spent the next few minutes on my hands and knees cleaning up the puke that didn’t quite make it into the toilet.

I returned to my cousins room, explained my absence, and hung out for a little bit later before we all called it a night.  Unfortunately, the story doesn’t end here.

Next morning

I woke up feeling decent, but certainly not 100%.  I could tell that the remnants of the beast burger was still lurking in my stomach.  My wife wanted to go somewhere for breakfast, I explained that the last thing I wanted at the moment was something like eggs, bacon, and sausage.  So we went to Safeway where she could get a breakfast sandwich and I got a smoothie from a nearby Jamba Juice.

After breakfast, we did a little shopping, then headed back to the hotel to meet up with my cousins for lunch.  We all piled into my cousin’s car, and went to a nearby place for some grub.

Still feeling a bit funky,  I decided to order something light and went with a gazpacho soup.  My soup turned out to be very tasty.  I went ahead and ordered a beer to go with lunch, and I felt like I was finally in the clear.

About 30 minutes later we finished up lunch, and prepared to return to the brewfest to meet up with my brother.  After the check was paid, I felt that unpleasant and familiar rumble in my gut.

Crap… I thought, not again!

As everyone else made they way to the car, I said I need to go to the bathroom.  I quickly walked to the back of the restaurant, reached for the men’s bathroom door (thank god it wasn’t locked) and quickly locked myself inside.  A few seconds later my lunch was inside the toilet.

After a few more hurls, I made my way out to the car and I informed everyone of the bad news.  We made our way to the brewfest where I spent a considerable amount of time just laying on a blanket we had put out on the grass.  After an hour or so I started to finally feel normal again, then by late afternoon I think the beast finally took his grip off my poor stomach.

I forgot how terrible food poisoning is.  And this one was odd, because I mostly felt OK, except for those two bouts of puking, and the inability to eat anything.

I’ll say this, I don’t believe that the place that I ate the burger at is a bad establishment.  Just the opposite, it’s got great reviews online, my brother raves about it, and my burger was actually pretty good, I just think I got very unlucky.